I am a man of very many beginnings and few endings. I seldom even achieve intermediate success. I click through Wikipedia links like an office job and am never satisfied. I search the open web with no particular purpose. I click through labyrinthine histories and memories without ever gaining functional knowledge about myself, let alone my existence. I learned lots on online inhibition effect but I cannot really say what good, if any, it did me. I must admit there is a high about clicking the light blue text and being sent to new links. The countless strings of wikis converge to aggregate information in such a way that meaning is belittled. There is no end in sight.
This ambiguity is what I can’t stand. Deep down, all I really want is to find myself for who I truly am. See myself alongside the likes of the revolutionary Karl Marx and the French Encyclopedist Denis Diderot:
Born 5 May 1987
Education CUNY – Queen’s College
Religious beliefs Roman Catholic
Political views Anarcho-syndicalism
Notable ideas Contributions to …
But what if I never find myself? What if my contributions aren’t notable? What if I never make anything of myself — who will remember me? Is it sufficient to be loved by my siblings?
Before making a judgment call I will continue to click around until I find myself. I am myself in the making.